Never Kill A Boy On The First Date Rewritten
by ConfusedColumbia26220
Summary: So, I am rewriting every single episode of Buffy, with one slight change – Jenny Calendar killed off in Passion, season 2 episode 17 will be in every single one. Don't like it, don't read it. That simple. S1E5
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So, I am rewriting every single episode of Buffy, with one slight change – Jenny Calendar (killed off in Passion, season 2 episode 17) will be in every single one. Don't like it, don't read it. That simple. If you do like it, I would also suggest that you start out by reading the first three rewritten episodes, before you read this. This is the 5th epiosde rewritten for season one. In the summaries S#E# represents what season and episode the story takes place. It would be best if you went in order - I guarantee you will be lost unless you go episode by episode. **

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

In the cemetery, Buffy was fighting a vampire. She kicked him in the face with a high roundhouse kick, forcing him to step backward to keep his balance. The vampire did a jumping half-twisting crescent kick, which

Buffy ducked. He tried two punches, and Buffy neatly blocked them. On his third punch she grabbed hold of his arm and hit him in the face with a high front snap kick. Letting go of the vampire's arm, Buffy punched him squarely in the midsection and followed up with a swinging punch to his face, sending him to the ground. "We haven't been properly introduced." She pulled out a stake. "I'm Buffy, and you're history!" She plunged the stake into him as he got up. He fell and burst to ashes.

Giles popped up from behind a crypt. "Poor technique." He came around to her. "Prioritizing, sub-par... Execution was adequate, but a bit too bloody for my taste."

"Giles, don't mention it. It was my _pleasure_ to make the world safe for humanity again."

"I'm not saying that your methods are without merit, it's, uh, y-you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be: plunge, and move on. Plunge and..."

"Is it safe to come out, yet?" Ms. Calendar asked from behind the same crypt Giles had been behind. As she asked, Giles noticed something on the ground.

"Yeah, come on out, he's dusted," Buffy answered.

"Hello." Giles bent over to pick up a ring with his pen.

Buffy saw it. "Oh, that's great! I kill 'em, you fence their stuff."

Giles gave her a look.

Ms. Calendar bounced over. "What is it?"

"I don't know," Giles answered.

"But it bothers you," Buffy stated.

"Yes! Well, I... I thought this vampire was just on a random kill, but it may be something else."

"Something big?" Buffy asked.

"Yes. I'd best consult my books."

Ms. Calendar rolled her eyes. She couldn't wait until something came up where computers saved the day.

In The Master's lair, The Master slammed a book down on his lectern, opened it, and read, "'And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into Hell.' As it is written, so shall it be." He picked up the book and walked. "'Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny.'" He stopped by one of the bretheren. "As it is written, so shall it be. 'And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate.' Oh, wait." He grabbed the brethren by the throat. "That's not written anywhere." He lifted the vampire from his feet. "The

Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer! If you fail to bring him to me, if you allow that girl to stop you..." He threw the vampire into a coffin. "Here endeth the lesson." He slammed the book shut and walked off.

In the library, Buffy was sitting on the table, studying the ring.

Giles made his way down to her from the stacks while leafing through a book.

Ms. Calendar was behind the checkout counter, fiddling with a nail file.

"That symbol on the ring... I believe it's the rune for fidelity, but, uh, it doesn't connect with any of the sects that I've studied," Giles said.

"What about this?" Buffy showed him the ring. "On the inside. It's a sun and three stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere?"

"Let me see." Giles took the ring and looked closely. "No, I-I don't think this, um, represents any..."

Buffy looked in the book. "Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars. Yuck, check these guys out." She handed Giles the open book. "Told you it looked familiar."

"Ugh, I'm bored. Let me see." Ms. Calendar made her way over to them. Just because she'd mostly sat out of the last fight didn't mean she was going to this time.

"Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right," Giles said to Buffy.

"Ooo, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score!"

Ms. Calendar made a noise that was a cross between a choked laugh and a snort. Giles gave her a look. She cleared her throat. "Sorry."

Owen came into the library and approached them.

"Oh!" Buffy slid off the table. "Owen! Hi!"

Giles looked up at Owen. "What do you want?"

"A book?"

"Oh!"

"See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things," Buffy said to Giles.

"I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."

"And this is the library, where the books live, so get the kid his book." Ms. Calendar smirked.

"I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around. Kind of a security blanket," Owen stated.

Buffy replied awkwardly, "I have something like that. Well, it's an actual blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anym-more... So! Emily Dickens, huh? She's great!"

"Dickinson."

"She's good also."

Giles pointed at a section of the stacks. "Poetry."

"I didn't think I'd find you here," Owen told Buffy. He went up the stairs.

Buffy followed him. "W... Why not?"

"I, I didn't mean... I mean... I think you can read."

"Thanks."

"But you don't seem bookwormy." He found his book. "The type of person to lock themselves in a dark room with a lotta musty old books." He looked up from the book. "Oh, and I've offended you."

"No! No, I'm just surprised you gave any thought to what I'm like."

"You shouldn't be." He started back down the stairs.

Buffy followed. "Oh, well, I _love_ books. I mean, I really _love_ books."

Owen saw the book they were consulting earlier on the table and headed over there to take a look. "What's this?"

Buffy got between him and the book. "Not this one."

Ms. Calendar picked the book up. "This one she doesn't love."

Giles walked around Buffy, took Owen's book, and headed to the checkout station. "Oh, Emily Dickinson."

"We're both fans," Buffy announced.

"Yes, uh, she's quite a good poet, I mean for a... " Giles took Owen's library card.

"A girl?" Buffy asked.

"For an American." He scanned the book and library card.

"I'll, uh, see you in math..." Owen couldn't help but wonder why the computer science teacher was there. "if I open my eyes at some point." Math was boring. He took the card and book from Giles.

"Cool..." Buffy replied.

Owen left.

Buffy stared after him.

"The Order of Aurelius is a very old and venerated sect. If they're here, it's for a good reason," Giles stated.

"That was Owen!"

"Yes, I remember."

"Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one."

Giles took on an exasperated tone. "Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand."

"Right. I'm sorry, you're right. Vampires." She looked down at her dress. "Oh." She looked inquisitively at Giles, then Ms. Calendar, then Giles. "Does this outfit make me look fat?"

Later, in the cafeteria, Buffy and Willow were paying for lunch.

"Owen Thurman was talking to you?" Willow asked.

"It's all true."

"Wow! He hardly talks to anyone. He's solitary, mysterious... He can brood for forty minutes straight, I've clocked him."

"He was so nice, it was eerie."

"What did you guys have to talk about?"

Buffy headed for a table where Xander was seated. "Emily Dickinson."

Willow followed. "He reads Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive, yet manly!"

Buffy sat down her try.

"Well, wait, you've never even read her," Willow stated.

Buffy pulled out the book and sat it down for Willow to see.

"You vixen!"

They both sat.

Xander held up his fork. "Has anybody given any thought to what this green stuff is?"

"Hmm, I'm avoiding the subject," Buffy answered.

"I think it's kale, or possibly string cheese." He let his fork drop. "So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?"

Buffy gave him a stern look. "Xander!"

"I mean, how'd the _laying_ go?"

Buffy shot him another look.

"No, I don't mean that either."

"It went fine, thank you. There's some new hoidy-toidy vampire sect in town," Buffy answered.

"That's bad," Willow stated.

"Well, hey, they're bringing in the much needed tourist dollars." He saw Owen. "Ooo, look at Mr. Excitement."

"Owen! He's all alone! Maybe somebody should sit with him," Buffy suggested.

"Mm, just to be polite!" Willow agreed/

Buffy got up.

"Good luck!" Willow supported.

"Okay, what just happened?" Xander asked Willow.

Buffy walked over to Owen's table. Cordelia was coming over, too, from another direction.

"Look, an empty seat!" Cordelia bumped Buffy.

Buffy spilled her tray. "Ooo! Ew..."

"Let me get that." Owen bent down.

"Thanks!" Buffy crouched. "Boy! Cordelia's hips are wider than I thought!"

Sarcastic nonsense came from Cordelia's mouth, "Eh-heh!"

"At least you don't have to eat your Soylent Green," Owen said.

Cordelia tried getting his attention. "Owen, a bunch of us are loitering at the Bronze tonight. You there?"

"Who's all going?" Owen asked.

"Well, um, I'm gonna be there."

"Who else?"

"You mean besides me?"

"Buffy, what about you?" Owen asked.

"What?"

"No, no, no! She, uh, she doesn't like fun."

"How 'bout we meet there at eight?"

Buffy smiled. "Yeah! Eight! There!" She put her empty tray on top of Cordelia's.

After lunch, Buffy and Willow entered the hall through the cafeteria doors.

"It's not that big a deal. It's just a bunch of people getting together," Buffy told her.

"It's a very big deal!"

"It is." She spotted Giles and Ms. Calendar. "Tell her!"

"I'm afraid it's very big," Giles stated.

Willow smiled at Buffy. "Thank you!" She turned back to Giles, confused. "Wait!"

They all followed Giles into the library.

"What are you talking about?" Willow asked.

"What are _you_ talking about?" Giles asked.

"Boys!" Buffy and Willow answered in unison.

"Yes, well, I'm talking about trouble. A violent and disturbing prophecy is about to be fulfilled."

"The Order of Aurelius," Ms. Calendar stated.

Giles walked over to the table. "I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he, he prophesied that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him the Anointed."

"Who's that?" Willow asked.

"Well, I-I don't know exactly, a-a-a-a warrior, but, but it says he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth day after the Advent of Septus."

"Well, we'll be ready whenever it is," Buffy said.

"Which is tonight."

Buffy took in the information. "Tonight, okay..." She realized the conflict. "Not okay! It can't be tonight!"

"My calculations are precise."

"Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!"

"Checked them twice, myself," Ms. Calendar stated.

"Buffy has a really important date," Willow explained.

"Owen!"

"Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show," Giles said.

"Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm," Buffy told him.

"Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master," Giles replied.

"Yeah, uh, I'm just gonna...be over here...while you yell." Ms. Calendar backed up slowly.

"But... Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!"

"Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we go into battle!"

That night, in a graveyard, Giles, Buffy, and Ms. Calendar sat on a large gravestone.

Giles sniffed. "Perhaps we, uh, miscalculated."

"I'm thinking yes." Buffy sucked her drink dry.

"Well, you know what they say. Ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is, is waiting."

"You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?"

"Well, we've certainly waited here long enough." Ms. Calendar got up.

"Besides, there aren't any fresh graves," Buffy added. "Who's gonna rise?"

"Apparently no one tonight." Giles got up as well.

Buffy jumped up. "Then I can bail? I can go to the Bronze and find Owen?"

"Oh, very well then. Follow your hormones if you want."

Ms. Calendar muffled a giggle with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"But I assume I don't have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who's unaware of your unique condition."

"Yeah, yeah, I read the back of the box."

"If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger."

"Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!'"

Giles gave her a look.

"Good night." Buffy left.

"'Five shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise.' I was sure it was tonight," Giles stated.

"See what happens when you become too dependent on books? They trick you." Ms. Calendar said.

"Well, your computers haven't proved to be much help, either."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Both our resources messed up. Boo for us. Let's get over it."

In a bus, passengers were having a conversation.

"I went on an airplane," Colin, who was a little boy, told Andrew. Andrew was a grown man with a gruff voice.

"A pale horse emerged with death as its rider. You will be judged. You will be judged."

At the Bronze, Buffy entered, looking for Owen. 'Rotten Apple', by Three Day Wheely, was playing on the sound system.

_ "...is real / Then you wake up shouting some familiar name / It's not the same"_

Buffy saw Owen dancing with Cordelia. She looked on, crushed by the sight of them together.

_ "You're just a girl / Just a girl who knows no shame / Whose desperate pace has lost its taste / A never-ending darkness weighs / I can't avoid, I can't complain / I know exactly who's to blame / The girl who shares my..."_

In the bus, Andrew got up and stood in the aisle. "That day's gonna bring fire. Fire comin' down! Judgment!" To Colin and his mom, "Don't think you're ready, ready to look upon him. If there's sin in there, there's sin all around. It's a liquid. On that day there won't be anybody tellin' us what to do or why we're doin' it. You can't prepare. On that day..."

The driver addressed him, "Hey, you gotta sit down. Okay?"

"Are you willing to stand with the righteous?"

One of the brethren stepped in front of the bus. The driver hit the brakes and slammed into the vampire. The bus began to swerve, ran through a sign and hit a pole, which brought it to a stop.

The driver looked back at the passengers. "Is everyone okay?"

The passengers looked at each other. They all seemed shaken but okay. The driver got out to check on the victim.

"Are you all right?" He knelt down beside him. "Can you move?"

The vampire grabbed him by the throat and began choking him. Another one punched through a window on the bus, grabbed Andrew by the throat, pulled him out and bit him. The vampires all climbed into the bus to get the other people.

Outside the cemetery, Giles and Ms. Calendar were walking towards their respective cars.

Ms. Calendar fished in her purse for her keys. She couldn't find them. She then happened to glance through the car window. "Damn it!"

Giles looked over, about to get into his own car. "What is it?"

"Brilliant me left the keys in the car, and I don't have a spare."

Ms. Calendar was surprised to learn that Giles knew how to pick a car door lock, but was grateful when he was successful and got it unlocked. "Just when I thought I had you figured out." She stated when she heard the lock click open.

"Yes, well, I-I-I'm, uh, f-full of surprises."

"That was a helpful surprise. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Giles went back to his car.

Ms Calendar got in her own and let out a sigh. Boy, was he a mystery. A mystery that she didn't care to solve, but would rather be a part of. She started the car, telling herself that she'd have to kick up the flirt factor a notch or two.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Ms. Calendar and Giles arrived in the school parking lot at the same time.

"Oh, hey!" Ms. Calendar waved once out of her car.

"Hello."

"Thanks for, you know, having some sort of mischevious past that allowed you to learn how to pick locks."

Giles chuckled. "No, er, no p-problem."

Ms. Calendar's smirk was enough to send shivers down Giles' spine. She walked towards him and ran her hand along his tie as she continued on. "See you inside."

In the school hall, Buffy was at her locker. She slammed it shut and leaned on it.

"So you just went home?" Xander asked.

"What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian and the computer science teacher waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?'"

Xander weighed options with his hands. "Or flat tire?"

Buffy started walking. "I can't take this anymore. I feel like everyone is staring at me, the big, hideous, dateless monster." She directed her words to a passing student who hadn't provoked anything, "What? Yeah, that's right, I have no life, c'mon, nothin' to see here, pal, move it along!"

A little further down the hall, Xander asked, "You're acting a little overly, aren't you? I mean, you could have any guy in school."

"He's not any guy. He's more... Oweny."

"Sure, he's got a certain Owenosity, but that's not hard to find." They reached his locker. "I mean, a lotta guys read. " He smiled goofily. "I can read."

Buffy is leaned on the lockers, looking down, until she noticed Owen come up to her.

"Hey, Buffy!"

"Owen!"

"Oh, look, it's Owen." Xander received a look from Buffy. "Buffy and Owen. And Xander. That'd be me."

"W-where were you last night?" Owen asked Buffy.

"Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was..."

"I thought I was the only one that happened to. How 'bout we try it again for tonight? I'll even lend you my watch." He handed her his gold pocket watch and chain.

Xander looked at the watch in wide-eyed amazement.

Buffy accepted it. "Tonight? Y-you and me?"

Xander looked at his Tweety wristwatch, feeling a bit insecure about it.

"Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink and they start fights..."

"Oh, no, it's just... Well, I... sort of heard that... you and Cordelia were... somewhat... all over each other. A little..."

"I danced with her a couple of times," Owen admitted. With a look of distaste he added, "She's kinda grabby."

"Oh, well, let's see, if I rearrange that, and I push that to n... Sure! Tonight'll work!"

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Um, seven!"

"That's when the little hand's-" Owen pointed to the watch. "There."

"Oh! Between the six and the eight."

"Um, I'll see you then!" Owen walked away.

Buffy watched him go. "Tonight! Isn't that so?"

"What?" Xander asked.

"Me and Owen!" Buffy answered dreamily before walking off.

"Yeah, so it is," Xander said to himself, feeling down. He closed his locker. "It sure is so."

Giles was in his office with a headache from researching. He was sitting down to have some tea.

Buffy barged into the library.

"I wouldn't bug him," Ms. Calendar said. She was sitting on the stairs that lead to the stacks. "He's got a bit of a headache."

"Alright, I'll ask you then. How's it going?"

"Umm...pass?"

"Great! I see we're still working on that Anointed One problem, that'll probably take you guys a few days, right? I mean, that's one obscure prophecy..." Buffy was very bubbly and very animated.

"Well, there are a few different interpretations."

"So tonight's looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and regroup, no big disasters coming, that is _so _good, I will see you guys tomorrow then! Bye!" She left quickly.

Giles emerged from his office, tea in hand. "She is the strangest girl."

In The Master's lair, The Master spoke. The bretheren gave him their attention. "You have done well. Everything is in place. When this night's work is done, I will have a mighty ally. I'll be one step closer to

freeing myself from this... mystical prison." He felt his confines. "I've been trapped down here so long I've nearly forgotten what it's like on the surface. Well, there'll be time enough to remember... when I rule it! If she tries to stop you, kill her. Give your own lives, but do not fail to bring the Anointed. I know you won't disappoint me." He quickly grabbed a fly from the air. "Bug!"

After school, Buffy was in her room, wearing a bathrobe, while Willow was helping her decide on an outfit.

"Pick!"

"Okay." Buffy spoke to Xander. As Willow held up a minidress, Buffy asked, "Do I wanna appear shy, coy and naive or-" Willow held up the other one. "Unrestrained, insatiable and aggressive?"

Xander was watching from the bed. "Uh, y'know, Owen is a little home spun, he probably doesn't like that overly assertive look." He went to her closet. "Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap!" He held them up to her. "The earflaps will bring out your eyes!"

Buffy and Willow exchanged a look.

"Maybe I should mix and match," Buffy suggested.

Willow nodded in agreement.

"Okay, guy's opinion." Buffy grabbed two lipsticks from her desk. "Which one do you think Owen will like better?" She held them up. "The red or the peach?"

"Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends how easy you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then talks behind your back?" Xander asked. "The red's fine."

"Thanks. I'll go with the peach." Buffy put the peach lipstick on.

Willow handed Buffy a third minidress. "Here, put this on."

Both girls looked at Xander.

"You're not bothering me!"

Willow sighed, turned him around, and pushed him away. "So, where's he taking you?" She asked Buffy.

"Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days?" She untied her bathrobe.

Xander went over to her drawer chest and tried to angle the mirror inside a box so he could see.

"Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies."

Buffy finished pulling on the minidress. "Movies! Interesting!"

"And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a party."

Buffy pulled on a boot. "Wow! I never knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities!" She pulled on the other boot.

Xander fumbled with the box. Buffy and Willow looked over at him. The door bell rang.

"That's Owen!" Buffy said excitedly.

When Buffy opened the door, though, she saw that it wasn't. "That's Giles."

"We need to talk."

"Buffy's not home." She tried closing the door.

Giles pushed the door open and entered the house.

"Wow! You didn't bring your sidekick? I'm surprised!"

"Buffy, this is important."

"Begging the same question, where's Ms. Calendar?"

"Safe at her home, where she should be."

"You're keeping her out of the action again? Look at my shock."

"I don't want to risk her getting hurt."

Buffy made kissy noises.

Giles sighed. "Knock it off. "Our calculations may not have been as far off as we thought." He held up a newspaper.

Buffy read, "'Five Die in Van Accident'?"

"Out of the ashes of five shall rise the one. That's the prophecy. Five people have died!"

"In a car crash."

"I know it doesn't quite follow, but, but it's worth investigating. Look! Among the dead was Andrew Borba, whom the police sought for questioning in a double murder. Now, he may be the Anointed One. The, the bodies have been taken to, to Sunnydale Funeral Home, w-we can..."

Buffy interrupted, "Giles, why do you wanna hurt me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Owen showed up at the open door. "Hey!" He entered. "Uh, hi!"

"You have a date?" Giles asked.

"Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow."

"Wait, you're not getting off that easily."

"Man, you really care about your work!" Owen commented.

Willow thought fast. "Uh, Owen?"

"Yeah, a couple of things about tonight," Xander added.

Willow and Xander lead Owen into the living room.

"Another date? Don't you ever do anything else?" Giles asked.

"This is the first date! There's never been a date, okay? This is my maiden voyage! Besides, Willow and I advised you to get into the dating game, but no. You must just be too British for that."

In the next room, the three students were talking.

"What, she doesn't like to dance?" Owen asked.

"Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched."

"Xander..." Willow knew he was taking advantage of his own personal vendetta.

"As a matter of fact, don't even look at her."

In the foyer, Buffy pointed out, "We don't even know if this is anything."

"No, we don't," Giles agreed.

"And I haven't had a day off in a while," Buffy added.

"True..." Giles admitted.

"And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer!"

"Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer... i-i-is problematic at best." And that was how Giles discovered that even if the mere thought of Ms. Calendar crossed his mind, he stuttered.

"This is the 90's. The 1990's, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date."

"Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead..." Maybe he would grow the nerve to ask Ms. Calendar out, after all.

Buffy was pleased. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won't go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me."

Owen came back into the room. "Is everything cool?"

"All set."

"Yes, and, uh, you'll face a pretty hefty fine in the morning," Giles covered.

"Well, bye. Don't wait up." She quickly left with Owen.

"Is something going on?" Willow asked Giles.

"Oh, uh, probably not, no. I, uh, I suppose I'll just, uh, go to the funeral home in case, just see if anything comes up," Giles answered before leaving. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. It depended.

"This is bad," Willow said to Xander, concerned.

"I wish it was just bad."

"We should... go along."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't trust that Owen guy. It's the eyes. Crazy!"

"Xander, we should go with Giles! He could get in trouble!"

"Oh, he's gone, uh, it's, he's gonna be alright. He's like super librarian, y'know? Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon."

At Ms. Calendar's home, she just so happened to be glancing at the newspaper, when she saw the 'Five Die in Van Accident' headline. Her interest perking, she read the article. Her eyes widened. "Damn him!" She knew he was trying to keep her out of it. What the hell was his issue? She had been helping him with the Slayer from the very beginning - helped discuss how he'd bring it up, fought on his side, and he was trying to keep her out of it. It wasn't going to work. Just because she had happened to miss one event didn't mean she was going to miss anymore. She got up from the couch, jammed the newspaper into her purse, and grabbed her keys. She was going to the Sunnydale Funeral Home - she knew that was where Giles would be.

At the Bronze, Velvet Chain was playing. They began with 'Strong'. Owen and Buffy were at a table talking.

_"I'll be right along / 'Cause, baby, you're so strong"_

"The thing about Emily Dickinson I love is, is she's just so incredibly morbid. A lot of loss, a lot of death... It gets me. With a lot about bees, for some reason," Owen stated.

"Did she have a tragic and romantic life? With a lotta bees?" Buffy asked.

"Quiet. Kind of sequestered and uneventful. Which I can really relate to. I... don't get out much."

"I don't get that."

"It's my fault. I just find most girls pretty frivolous. I mean, there's a lot more important things in life than dating, y'know?"

Buffy looked down at her beeper.

"Oh. Did I say something wrong?" Owen asked.

"Uh, no! Come on." She lead Owen to the dance floor.

_"Baby, baby, I know it's always been so / Physical love is, oh, so meaningful for you"_

Buffy and Owen danced close.

"It's weird," Owen stated.

"What is?"

"You! One minute you're right there. I've got you figured. The next, it's like you're two people."

"Really? Which one do you like better?"

"I'll let you know."

_"So strong / Baby, I'm yours / You know / Because you're so / So strong"_

Cordelia entered the Bronze with some of her friends. She saw Buffy with Owen. "Aren't there laws against this sort of thing?" She walked over to Buffy and Owen. "Owen! Look at you, here all alone..."

_"You're so, so strong"_

"Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy," Owen stated.

"Oh! Okay. Do you wanna dance?" Cordelia asked.

"No, I'm still here with Buffy."

"You are so good to help the needy."

"Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now, and for that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that's away."

Cordelia gave Buffy a look. "Well, when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know," she told Owen before leaving.

_"You would suffer, suffer for me"_

Giles drove up to the Sunnydale Funeral Home in his ancient car. It was quiet. He got out, slung his bag over his shoulder and started around his car to the building. The night was creepy, and he had a look

around. He continued toward the building, but stoppeds short when he sensed something. He looked around again to his left.

"You honestly didn't think you'd get away with it, did you?" Ms. Calendar asked. "I read the newspaper, too. I'm not dropping out of this fight just because I missed one. And there's nothing you can say to make me leave, so don't even try."

"Jenny, I-I-I-"

They sensed something. Giles looked right while Ms. Calendar looked left. Nothing in either direction. As they turned back, they saw one of the brethren in front of them. They started to back away, but

another one was behind them.

"Damn!" Giles cursed.


	3. Chapter 3

In front of the Sunnydale Funeral Home, Giles and Ms. Calendar were caught between two of the brethren of the Order of Aurelius. Giles pulled a cross from his bag and held it up to them. They cowered away in pain. Giles grabbed Ms. Calendar's hand and made a dash for the building. Inside, Giles looked around and put his cross back into his bag. Then he gave Ms. Calendar a gentle push in front of him. She ran to the flower room and found it locked. The brethren had come into the building after them.

At the Bronze, Velvet Chain was playing 'Treason'. _"I have a window in my mind / I can turn to look right through you"_

"Are you, uh, having fun?" Owen asked Buffy.

"Yeah. I almost feel like a girl."

_ "Won't cost you anything but time / To see me feel like you do"_

They smiled at each other and continued to dance.

At the funeral home, Giles found the door to the morgue unlocked and grabbed Ms. Calendar, pushing her in, before rushing in himself. He slammed the door behind him and looked around. He grabbed a filing cabinet, tilted it, and drug it over to block the door. In worked, the brethren couldn't readily open it. Giles and Ms. Calendar looked around for a way out. The windows were barred. They saw Willow and Xander through the bars.

"AH!" Giles was startled.

Willow and Xander raised the window sash.

"Giles, it's us!" Willow informed.

"What are you guys doing here?" Ms. Calendar asked.

"We saw two guys going in after you," Xander answered. "Are they..."

Giles looked at the door. "They are!" He looked back. "Uh, listen, you should get to safety."

"Can you get out this window?" Willow asked.

Ms. Calendar tested the bars. "'Fraid not."

"Look, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job for Buffy?" Xander stated.

"Uh, she has her, her... beeping thing!" Giles said.

Ms. Calendar looked around. "And no phone here, of course."

"Quick question - wasn't Ms. Calendar at home?" Xander asked.

"I was. I'm stubborn. Go!"

"Look, we'll get her, just, uh, hang in there," Xander assured them.

Willow and Xander left.

"Do hurry," Giles called after them, a worried tone to his voice.

At the Bronze, Owen and Buffy were standing by the stairs.

"Do you want something to eat?" Owen asked.

"Sure. Just make it something fattening."

Cordelia was looking on from shadows by a door. "What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum? I mean, I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that. Uhhh!"

The door opened and Angel came in.

"Ooo! Hello, salty goodness!" To her friend, Cordelia said, "Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him." She started to follow Angel, but stopped when she saw him go over to Buffy.

"Buffy," Angel greeted.

"Angel."

"Why is this happening to me?" Cordelia asked herself.

"I was hoping I'd find you here," Angel told Buffy.

"You were?"

"Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there."

"No, not you, too." She tried to move away from him.

Angel stopped her. "What do you know?"

"Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada..."

"So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you."

"Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar?" Buffy walked around him to face Owen. "He came here to be with me."

"You're here on a date?" Angel asked.

Buffy turned to him. "Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone?"

Owen returned. "Here you go."

"Oh. " She looked between Angel and Owen. "Um, Owen, this is Angel. Angel, this is Owen." She put her arm around Owen. "Who is my date."

"Hey," Angel greeted.

"Hey! So. Where do you know Buffy from?" Owen asked.

"Work."

"You work?" Owen asked Buffy.

Willow and Xander came running up to them, out of breath.

"Buffy!" Willow called.

"Look at this! You show up everywhere. Interesting," Owen stated.

Xander pointed at Owen. "You don't know the half of it." He pointed at Angel. "What's he doing here?"

"I guess it's the same thing you're doin' here," Angel answered.

"Uh, excuse me, what are _any_ of you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"Look, we gotta get to, uh..."

Willow kicked Xander.

"Uhhhh. We thought it'd be fun if, uh, we made this a double date!" Xander thought fast.

Willow and Xander put their arms around each other.

"I didn't know you guys were seeing each other," Buffy stated. She wasn't even in the viscinity of guessing there were supernatural matters at hand.

"Oh, yeah, well, we knew it would happen eventually, so we figured, hey! Why fight it?" Willow played along.

"And you guys are thinking double?" Owen asked.

"'Cause of..." Xander laughed nervously. "...the fun!"

Owen addressed Angel, "And you're here because of work?"

"Hey, maybe we should all go somewhere together," Xander suggested.

"Gee, that's so nice of you to ask, but Owen and I were, well, sort of... Owen and I." Buffy informed.

Xander gave up on beating around the bush. "You know what'd be cool? The Sunnydale Funeral Home!"

Willow emphasized, "I've always wanted to go there!"

"The funeral home?" Buffy still didn't get it, but it was beginning to come together.

"Actually, that sounds kinda cool! Do you think we could all sneak in?" Owen asked.

"We saw some guys in there before. They seemed to be-" Xander tried once more, his next words to Buffy said pointedly, "Having fun!"

Buffy said to herself, "Bite me!" She finally got it. She looked up at Angel, who gave her an 'I told you so' look.

Buffy sighed. "Um, Owen, I gotta go."

"I thought we were going to the funeral home," Owen replied.

"No, you can't. I'll tell you what. I'll be back in a little while."

"Buffy..." Owen lead her away. "What's the deal? Do you wanna bail on me?"

"No! No... no... uh... You remember when you said I was like two different people? Well, one of them has to go. But the other one is having a really, really good time, and will come back. I promise."

Owen just nodded his head and watched her go. She came back and laid a kiss on him. The she really left with Willow and Xander close behind.

"She's the strangest girl!" Owen said to Angel.

At the funeral home, everything seemed quiet. Buffy, Willow, and Xander came in through the front door.

"Which way?" Buffy asked.

"The room's around back," Willow informed.

They went off to their left. Around a corner, they hit a dead end.

"Damn it!" Buffy cursed.

Owen appeared behind them. "This is so cool!"

"Uh, Owen! You can't be here!" Buffy couldn't believe it.

"Oh, and I suppose you guys are allowed? What are we doin' here? Are we gonna see a dead body?" Owen asked.

"Possibly several." To Xander and Willow, Buffy said, "Guys, watch him." She ran back the way they came.

"Is she mad?" Owen asked.

"Oh, she just wants to make sure there're no guards so we don't get in trouble," Willow was quick to make something up.

"Good thinking."

"Good thinking," Xander complimented Willow.

They started after Buffy.

Buffy was quietly walking down the hall, looking and listening. She found the morgue door open and went in. The place was in shambles. "Giles?"

His bag was on the autopsy gurney. The window bars were torn open. Buffy found his cross. Suddenly, one of the doors to a body storage drawer opened in front of her, and the drawer rolled out. Buffy jumped back, startled. "Giles!"

"It _is _you. Oh, good." He coughed. "Jenny."

Another body storage drawer rolled out, and Ms. Calendar jumped out as soon as she was able.

"Safe at home, huh?" Buffy quipped.

Ms. Calendar shrugged. "I'm a danger magnet, what can I say?"

"What happened?" Buffy asked.

"Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after us. But we were more than a match for them," Giles answered.

"Meaning...?"

"We hid," Ms. Calendar stated simply.

"Uh, this, uh, chap was good enough to bunk with me till they went away." Giles jumped down off of the cadacer.

"Well, w-were they here after you guys, or w-was it that prophecy thing?" Buffy asked.

"Ah, well, that's what we have to find out. I don't know what these brethren mean to do exactly. Find the Anointed, or, or, or, or give him something perhaps, uh, it's all, all very vague. And the Anointed may be long gone!" Fright, nerves, Ms. Calendar - those were the things that summoned his stuttered. And since all three were there, it was hardcore.

"But he may not be," Buffy stated.

"We must find out."

"Okay, I just need to get Owen and the others out of harm's way first."

"Owen? You brought a date?" Giles asked.

Buffy sighed. "I didn't bring him, he came."

"Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time."

"I know. I'll get rid of him." Buffy started to leave.

"Y-you can't make him go out there alone, we don't know where the brethren are. I-I'll just..."

"No! No, Rupert, he sees you, he's gonna have more questions than he already does right now," Ms. Calendar stated.

"She's right. I'll take care of it." Buffy ran out into the hall and looked around for the others. They came around a corner and saw her.

"Is everything okay?" Willow asked.

"It is."

"And we'll be leaving?" Xander wanted to get out of there.

"We're not done lookin' around yet!" Owen protested.

"No, he's right. So let's find a nice, safe, fun room to look around in," Buffy suggested. She took Owen's hand and lead the group down the hall. They reached the office door.

"We tried the office here, but it's locked," Owen informed.

Buffy broke the lock. "No it's not!" She went in.

"Well, I don't think we'll find much in here."

Buffy looked around. "That's the plan."

"Okay." Then he was confused, "What?"

Buffy finished looking. "I have to go now." She laughed nervously. "Um, to the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a security guard or something, just be really quiet." She directed her next words to Xander and Willow. "And barricade the door." She went out into the hall again and looked around on her way back to the morgue.

Xander closed the office door.

In the morgue, Buffy, Ms. Calendar, and Giles started looking through the body drawers, hoping to find the Anointed One.

Buffy opened one. "Ewww, parts!"

Ms. Calendar gagged, glad she hadn't been the one to open that one.

"Keep looking, he must be here somewhere," Giles stated.

In the office, Willow and Xander started to pile furniture in front of the office door.

"What are you guys doing?" Owen asked.

"Uh, just in case!" Willow didn't really answer.

Owen saw a curtain and drew it open. Behind a window, he saw a body covered with a sheet. "Oh my!"

Willow and Xander turned around to look.

In the morgue, Buffy, Ms. Calendar, and Giles were still looking. There was only one storage cell left. Giles opened it quickly and Buffy pulled out the drawer. It was empty.

"Nothing," Ms. Calendar stated.

"The Anointed must be gone," Giles concluded.

"I guess. I mean, this is where they keep all the dead bodies, right?" Buffy asked.

"Mm-hmm," Giles answered.

In the office, Owen was looking at the body with fascination. Willow and Xander looked worried.

"I read a lot about death, but... but I've... never really seen a dead body before," Owen said.

The body's hand moved.

"Do they... usually move?" Owen asked, a little frightened.

The hand moved again. Willow and Xander approached to have a closer look. The hand reached up and pulled the sheet off. The body belonged to Andrew. He sat up and faced them. He was vampire now. He stood up, looked down at himself, and flexed his hands. He looked back up at them. "I have been judged!"


	4. Chapter 4

In the mortuary office, everyone was freaking out a little.

"What's goin' on?" Owen asked.

They backed away from the window slowly.

Andrew approached the window and smashed it with his forehead.

In the morgue, Buffy, Ms. Calendar, and Giles heard the window being smashed.

"Oh, no!" Buffy started running to the office.

In the office, Andrew laughed. "He is risen in me! He fills my head with song!"

Owen, Willow and Xander frantically began moving the furniture away from the door.

Andrew stepped through the opening. "Pork and beans. Pork and beans!"

"Gimme that!" Xander said to Willow.

"I can smell you," Andrew stated.

They got the furniture moved. Willow opened the door and they ran out.

Andrew followed at a quick pace. "You're the chaff, unblessed. I'll suck the blood from your hearts, he says I may!"

Buffy met the gang in the hall, save for Giles and Ms. Calendar.

"He's in there!" Xander said.

"Uh, go! Get out!"

"She'll be okay," Xander told Owen. "C'mon!"

They continued running. Buffy tried to find Andrew. She could hear him singing as he came down the hall toward her.

"Shall we gather at the river? / The beautiful, the beautiful river?"

She decided to try to head him off another way. Xander, Willow and Owen found the exit, but were blocked by the brethren. Willow screamed. Xander pulled her around and behind himself. Instead of attacking, the brethren closed the gates. The hall was empty, but they could hear Andrew singing.

"I think he's coming this way!" Willow cried.

They ran and found themselves at the same dead end as when they first got there.

"Oh, God, this is too much!" Owen wasn't sure he could take much more of being plopped into a horror movie.

Giles and Ms. Calendar were still in the morgue when Buffy rushed in.

"What've you got?"

"What?" Giles asked.

"What'd you bring? Do you have a stake?"

"Oh, uh..." He handed her a stake.

"Thank you!" She started back out the door.

"W-what should we do?" Giles asked.

Buffy faced them. "Um, go outside and make sure the others are okay."

Andrew came up behind Buffy, grabbed her, and threw her into a cabinet. She hit the floor, unconscious.

Ms. Calendar rushed to her aid. "Buffy!"

In the hall, Owen said, "Somebody's gotta help Buffy!" He started running to the morgue.

"Owen!" Willow called after him. She and Xander followed when he didn't stop.

In the morgue, Buffy had awaken, but was still on the floor.

Andrew approached Giles. "They told me about you while I was sleeping."

Giles held up his cross. It was painful to Andrew.

"Uh! Why does he hurt me?" Andrew slapped Giles' hand away and the cross went flying. He grabbed Giles and threw him into the crematory controls. The fires in the chamber lit. Giles fell unconscious.

"Rupert!" Ms. Calendar cried.

Andrew turned and grabbed her by the throat. He lifted her and threw her against the body drawers. The ones nearby opened upon impact. Ms. Calendar crumpled to the floor, unconscious as well.

Andrew turned to Buffy and bent down. He picked her up.

Owen came running in. "Buffy!"

Andrew raised her above his head.

"No!" Owen grabbed a tray and swung it into Andrew's back, stunning him. His knees buckled and he let go of Buffy. She staggered into an open body drawer door and fell down, unconscious. Andrew turned, grabbed Owen by the neck and growled as he moved in to bite. Owen grabbed an urn from a rack and smashed it over Andrew's head. He fell. Owen went over to help

Buffy. She woke up again and tried to get up.

"Did you see that?" Owen asked. "He tried to bite me!" He helped Buffy up. "What a sissy!"

Andrew got back up, grabbed Owen, and smashed a body drawer into the back of his head, knocking him out.

"No!"

"Dead!" Andrew let Owen fall. "He was found wanting!"

Buffy got him solidly in the gut with a front snap kick. He rolled over the autopsy gurney and onto the floor. She ran around to the far end of the gurney. Andrew quickly got up. She pushed the gurney into his gut, and then pushed down on her end so it pivoted up to hit him in the chin. He staggered back and fell. She jumped up onto the gurney and did a roundoff onto the floor as he got up. He swung widely at Buffy's face,

but she blocked it. He tried again with his other arm, hitting Buffy solidly in the face and knocking her to the ground. He taunted her as she quickly got up.

"You killed my date!" Buffy was pissed.

Willow and Xander appeared at the door.

Willow saw Owen wake up as Buffy and Andrew fought. "Buffy! Owen's..."

Xander pulled Willow back. "J-just give her a sec!"

Buffy blocked another punch, and then hit Andrew in the face with an open-hand punch. Blocking a second punch from him, she hit him in the gut with another open-hand punch. As he leaned forward from the pain, she kneed him in the gut, and then shoved him backward into a counter.

"You killed my date!"

Giles regained consciousness. His eyes wandered and he saw Ms. Calendar. "Jenny," he whispered. He made his way around the fighting and to Ms. Calendar. He slapped her face gently. "Come on, wake up," he whispered.

Andrew turned back to Buffy. "Your turn!" He lunged at Buffy, but she sidestepped him and used his forward momentum to launch him into the air. He landed on the gurney, and it rolled over to the crematory. The gurney stopped when it hit, but Andrew continued to slide through the open door. Giles reluctantly left Ms. Calendar's side. He dashed over and kicked the gurney away and slammed the crematory door shut. Andrew screamed. Buffy watched him burn through the small window. Then she noticed Owen trying to sit up.

"Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty?" Owen asked.

Buffy went to him. "Owen!" She crouched beside him.

Giles returned to Ms. Calendar, who was opening her eyes. "Come on." Giles grabbed her arms gently. "Up you get." He hauled her into a sitting position.

"What happened to that guy?" Owen asked Buffy.

"Oh... We scared him away."

"Oh, good. 'Cause, y'know, I would've..."

"I know. Here..." Buffy helped him up. "I'm sure this isn't exactly what you had in mind for our first date."

Owen rubbed his head. "Yeah! I was hoping maybe we'd finish at Ben & Jerry's."

"We still could..."

"No, I, I, I think I'll just walk home." He started to go, but then stopped. "Uh, which way's home?"

"I'll get you there."

"No, I'll, I'll go it alone."

Willow and Xander came over.

"We'll make sure he gets home safely," Xander promised.

They lead Owen away. Buffy watched them go. Giles came over, behind her.

"Buffy, if I might, uh..."

Buffy cut him off. "Don't!" She slowly walked out.

Giles turned to Ms. Calendar. "Can you walk?"

Ms. Calendar was slowly getting to her feet, using the body drawers as support. "Uh, I think?" She slipped and fell. "Ow! Or not..."

Giles sighed and went over to her, helping her gently to her feet. He slung one of her arms around his shoulders. "Lean on me."

Ms. Calendar flashed a smile his way. "Alright by me."

At school the next day, Buffy, Xander, and Willow were walking along the balcony.

"Well, did Owen say anything about me on the way home?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, you mean specifically about you?" Willow asked.

"Or generally... i-in the area, in the ballpark, any sort of indication?"

They rounded a corner and started down the stairs.

"Well, in that case, no," Xander answered.

"But he was pretty incoherent, so we might've missed it," Willow was trying to protect her feelings.

"You think?" Buffy asked.

"No," Xander answered.

"I knew it. I totally blew it last night!"

"No, see, what you need is a guy who already knows your deepest, darkest secrets and still says, 'Hey! I like that girl!' Someone like..."

Buffy saw Owen. "Owen!"

"Well, heh... This is our stop." Willow walked around Buffy and drug Xander away with her.

"Hi," Owen greeted.

"Hi." There was a long, awkward pause. "This is going well."

"I don't really know how to say this, but... about last night..."

"You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out."

"Totally."

Buffy looked down.

"And... I was wondering when I could see you again."

Buffy looked back up. "Um, that was my hopeful ear. Could you repeat that?"

"I think you're the coolest!"

Buffy smiled. "Really?"

"I mean, last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting killed would make me feel so... alive!"

Buffy looked down and started to walk. "So that's why you wanna be with me."

Owen followed her. "Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that again?"

"Something like..."

"Like, walk downtown at three in the morning, a-and pick a fight in a bar. How about tonight?" Owen asked.

"Tonight would..." They stopped walking. "Be... not a workable thing. Did I just say that?"

"Tomorrow, then. I-I'm free any night this week."

"I'm not. Please don't take this personally. It's not you, it's me."

Owen began to get it. "Right. It's you."

"And I was kinda hoping that... maybe you and I could still be..."

Owen was very disappointed. "I, I get it. You just wanna be friends."

"That'd be nice."

"Friends. Yeah. Great." Owen left.

_ "The world will keep on turning / It'll all be there come morning / So tonight..."_

"Yeah. Great."

_"Let the sun fall down all around you"_

Giles came up behind her. They watched Owen leave. Buffy noticed Giles and looked at him. He was at a loss. She went over to sit on a bench. Giles followed her.

"I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher." Giles sat next to her. "He was one, and his, uh, mother before him, and I was to be next."

"Were you thrilled beyond all measure?" Buffy asked sarcastically.

"No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer. Well, uh... My father gave me a very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice."

"Sacrifice, huh?"

Giles looked toward Owen. "Seems like a nice lad."

"Yeah. But he wants to be danger man. You, Xander, Willow, Ms. Calendar, you guys... you guys know the score, you're careful - even if you hadn't wanted Ms. Calendar there last night for whatever reason. Two days in my world and Owen really _would_ get himself killed. Or I'd get him killed." She faced him. "Or someone else."

"I, I went to the funeral home of my own free will. And as much as I dislike admitting it, so had Ms. Calendar."

"I think you can drop the formalities."

"Alright. Jenny. So had Jenny."

"And I should've been there."

"Buffy..."

"I blew it!"

"I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And, I must say, as a Slayer, you're, you're doing... pretty well."

Buffy smiled. "Well. At least I did stop that prophecy thing from coming true."

"You did! Handily. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine the Master, wherever he is, is having a fairly bad day himself."

He smiled and Buffy laughed.

The Master in his lair quoted scripture, "'And in this time will come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell.'" He kneeled down next to Colin. "Welcome, my friend."

**AN: Song lines toward the end by Kim Richey.**


End file.
